Sister Date

I just got back from a date with my sister. We were together for about 8 hours without any kids. It was so fun!!! It's times like this that remind me I am something other than a mother. It's fun to just be a sister sometimes too. The funny thing is.....we spent a good portion of our time talking about our kids. Once a mother always a mother. And you know what? I don't mind that a bit.

February Goals and Onto March

I did it! I accomplished another month of goals.

I learned how to make:
Quinoa Stuffed Peppers :) :)
Roasted Veggies :) :)
Chicken with Fennel and Carrots :(
Roasted Garlic Beets :(
Broiled Tilapia with Herbs and Mushrooms :) :)
Red Cabbage and Apple Slaw :( :( :(
Roasted Chicken with Pasta and Spinach Pesto :)
Smashed Sweet Potatoes :) :)

I also exercised (at least 50) 6 days a week! I do admit, there were 3 days out of the month when I counted my exercise as 5 trips out and back to my car with groceries, which if you knew how far I have to park from my front door, you would totally okay that decision....

MARCH GOALS
No carbs after 8:30 pm (unless family is in town) :)
Exercise 5 days per week (at least 100 things)

Here we go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fiery Flying Mommy

In the scriptures, when hell is referred to, I have seen mentioned that it will be filled with "fiery flying serpents." I beg to differ. I think it will be filled with fiery flying mommies. That is oh so much scarier than serpents anyway. And today, I am fairly certain that I created that vision for my sweet innocent children as they watched me fly across the house in a rage throwing tissue boxes and videos at the wall and even knocking over a chair on the way. I decided that today throwing things to get my frustrations out was safer than yelling because after all, my head is already pounding from the combination of my sinus headache, lack of sleep, and fever. I mean, if you consider 4 hours in the last 48 hours a lack of sleep. I certainly do.

I suppose I spoke too soon when I did my last two posts, saying everything was great, I was rising to the occasion, blah blah blah. Today is one of those days where I didn't even want to rise out of my bed . . .well, except for the fact that I wasn't in my bed this morning anyway. I was on the couch.

Since last Tuesday-ish, we have been dealing with some big sickness around here. My husband got hit the worst, so he had to miss a lot of work already, preventing him from being able to stay home today to help me. Poo.  Before, I was the caretaker and that was good for me. I almost thought I was in the clear from getting sick. Then Tuesday night of this week came and no matter what I tried, I could not sleep. I was jittery, couldn't close my eyes, and the worst part was that I couldn't stop singing "Moon, Moon, Moon," all. night. long. That night I finally slept for about an hour. Last night came and I thought, no way will that happen again. It did. I finally fell asleep fitfully at about 2 or 3 am and then woke at about 6 ish.

Today I have no appetite, I am queasy, tired (duh), dizzy, have the chills, weak, sore, my four year old is loud and restless because he is sick of being stuck inside with sick parents, my two year old has had FOUR accidents which she hasn't done since potty training day, and my 1 year old threw up her entire lunch . . . and I am just really really sad. I miss my momma. We lived near J's parents during our first 2 years of marriage, then near mine during our next 3 years. Now we live near no parents. My sister lives about 45 minutes away, and I know she would bring us the world if she could, but she works to support her family. That is the same with all of our friends here. They either work because it is so dang expensive to live here or they have little ones of their own. There is just nothing nothing nothing like having a grandparent close by to help when you have days like this . . . unless it's a neighbor/best friend who shares the other half of your duplex and is a total angel from heaven. That is awesome too. Oh the days . . . Anyway, it was to the point, in fact, that my hubby got on the computer last night and was prepared to use half of our tax return to fly my mom out here tomorrow and have her stay for a week! My annoying voice of reason talked him out of it. Sometimes I hate that voice. To sum it up. We feel lonely. Lonely, sick, and tired are hard things to feel. Especially all at once.

Here's the kicker. As I was sitting down to write out my feelings, the words of this hymn came into my head:
"When dark clouds of trouble hang o'er us
And threaten our peace to destroy,
There is hope smiling brightly before us,
And we know that deliverance is nigh."

(darn those hymns)

I tried to shrug it off, ironically happy to be unhappy for the moment, and then I opened up my email and there was an email from my friend C, who is in our church here. She and her family are sick and having a hard time too since her husband is so busy. She was just thinking of me and wanted me to know that. I balled as I read her email and then even more as I emailed her a thank you back. It was simple. It was not an offer to help, but only because she can't right now. But what it was, was her following a simple prompting to contact me to let me know she was there suffering right along with me. To let me know she was someone close by who understands.

No, it doesn't ease my burden like if my momma were here, but it does make me feel loved, watched out for, and important to someone. I am grateful for that.

Now. Time to take a deep breath, clean up the pee and puke, and push through the rest of this day. No more fiery flying mommy okay.

Called to Rise

I love a part of a poem that says, "You never know how high you are 'Til you are called to rise."

I think this rings true for all mothers. I have felt this is especially poignant in my life during these last 5 or 6 days. In my last post I said that I am the only one not sick. I suppose if I am completely honest, I am a little sick. My sinuses have been achy the last 3 days, and I have a slight cough, but nothing compared to how the rest of the family has been feeling. As soon as I started to feel it coming on, I stuffed myself with Vitamin D, garlic pills, lemon water, and acidophilus . . . and I am still doing that. I keep feeling like I am about to get worse and then, somehow, I am able to not only make it through each day of caring for 4 sick people, but to do it cheerfully.

I ask myself, "how is this possible?" I am not this person. I am the mom who loses her temper a lot, doesn't have natural patience, who hates to be inconvenienced, and who sometimes gets tired of always being the one to take care of everyone. Well, either some other person is working through me vicariously or someone is helping me to realize how high I am.

It has actually been such a confidence booster to see how much I can do in a day to care for others . . . and cheerfully. I say that again, because that is the part that surprises me the most. Sure, I can do a lot of things, but more often than not, I do it while complaining to myself and scowling at my husband and kids.

I have seen myself rise to hard things before, but never like this. I hope I can remember this on a day when I don't feel like rising to much more than out of my bed. I think we have experiences like these to help us have something to look back on to remind us of just how strong we really are.

Finally!

Usually I am the second one to get sick. One of the kids gets it, then I get it, then everyone except J (my husband) gets it. Then, we are all miserable because even though J is willing to help out and even stay home from work when it is bad enough, I don't rest. When the kids are sick, they want their mommy. And, no matter how hard I try, if I can hear them wanting me, I can't rest.

Well, this time is was different. I am FINALLY the only one in the family who has stayed healthy for the last 5 days while everyone else has been miserable with high fevers, terrible coughs, runny noses, mucus galore, and aches and pains. It was SO much better this way . . . exhausting for me . . .yes, but so much better. I suppose it sounds awful for a mother to say, "I'm sure glad it's not me!" in a situation like this, but I think in this case, I am completely justified . . . so here goes, "I am sure glad it's FINALLY not me!"

A Different Feeling

Some days are hard. Today was one of those. It wasn't a bad day. In fact, it was good until about 4:00 pm when I was trying to clean the fish tank (curse you Aunt K ;) for getting that algae filled poop swamp that I just cannot seem to clean without spilling water EVERYWHERE) . . . and both the girls woke up, R peed her pants (for the 3rd time today), K hurt herself and was poopy, and A just simply didn't feel good which meant whine whine whine . . . shall I go on???  I have 4 fingers that have deep splits in them which makes everything I do for the kids hurt, my hubby is sick, my house is dirty, my laundry is piled high, and my van looks like 10 diaper bags exploded inside of it.

Today I am feeling a little blobbish. Hmmmmm, I was doing so good at not feeling blobbish too! What to do? What to do?

For me. Today. The answer is . . . reflect.

This morning I read the following in the book of Mark in the New Testament:
Chapter 6, Verses 31-34

31And he said unto them, Come ye yourselves apart into a ^adesert place, and rest a while: for there were many coming and going, and they had no ^bleisure so much as to eat.

 32And they departed into a ^adesert place by ship privately.

 33And the people saw them departing, and many knew him, and ran afoot thither out of all cities, and outwent them, and came together unto him.

 34And Jesus, when he came out, saw much people, and was moved with ^acompassion toward them, because they were as sheep not having a ^bshepherd: and he began to ^cteach them many things.

Before these verses it explains that Jesus had just left his home city where he was saddened by their unwillingness to listen, to go and finally rest and eat something after working, teaching, blessing, healing, praying, and preaching days upon days without any break at all. 

Just as he was coming out of the ship, he saw the people who needed him and, as it says, he "was moved with compassion toward them, because they were as sheep not having a shepherd."

It hit me today that our children are like these lost sheep not having a shepherd. When they came through the vale at birth, they forgot what they knew in heaven. It is our job to be a sort of a shepherd for them so that they can find their Great Shepherd . . . the Savior. We can be like the Savior and though we are tired, overworked, hungry, and even discouraged . . . we can take compassion on our sweet children and teach them, love them, and help to bring them to the Savior. 

This gave me a different perspective on parenting that I had never discovered before. I am feeling a strange sort of gratitude today . . . pressure to be more willing to keep going . . . but also a great peace and power in knowing that I get to teach my children about the Savior. 

Promoted

I think I received a promotion today. I went from Mom - Baker - Housekeeper - Teacher - Butcher - Taxi Driver - Accountant - Lawyer - Nurse - Scientist - Wrestler - Personal Trainer - Health Advisor . . . to all of that PLUS Storyteller.

We read a monster book tonight about how monsters are born under kids beds. Weird I know . . . on a side note . . . I often wonder how some of these kid's books ever got published in the first place?? Anyway, when I went to tuck A, age 4, into bed, he pulled the covers up to right beneath his little chin and said with fear in his eyes, "Mommy, what if a monster is born under my bed tonight?" To which I responded, "Well, then you can take your two fingers and just squish him up." Then this conversation ensued:

A: "But my fingers aren't big enough."

M: "Oh yeah. You're probably right."

A: "Are monsters real?"

M: "Nope."

A: "Then why did somebody make that monster book?"

M: "People like to make pretend things so we can use our imagination."

A: "Well, whenever I think of scary things, I always think of monsters and then I hide under my covers like this!"

M: "Well, let me tell you something about monsters.  Now, it's a secret, so are you sure you want to know?"

A: "Yes!"

M: "Well, there are very few things that monsters are scared of, but I can tell you the ones I know for sure."

A: "What!?"

M: "Monsters are very very very scared of Mommies!"

He then got really wide eyed and a huge smile on his face.


A: "Why? What do mommies do to monsters!?"

M: "Well, monsters are afraid of mommies because they know that if a mommy catches a monster then she will grab him and bake him in the oven and eat him right up for dinner."

A: "Whoah!! That would be disgusting!"

M: "Yep . . . that's why monsters don't ever come where a mommy lives. They do not like to be baked and eaten up."

A: "Who else are they afraid of?"

M: "Babysitters!"

A: "What do babysitters do to them?"

M: "Babysitters grab them quick and pop them in the microwave which makes the monsters explode!"

A: "Really!? Wow! Are they afraid of anything else like dragons or super heroes?"

M: "They are only a little afraid of those things. BUT, there is ONE more thing they are very very very very afraid of!"

Again . . . realllllly wide eyed and excited!


A: "WHAT?!

M: "Boys named A!"

A huge smile spreads across his no longer scared face....

A: "Why!?"

M: "Well, you don't know why?!"

A: "No. Why?"

M: "Well, it's because they know that boys named A are really really good at Karate and that if they come anywhere where a boy named A lives, that boy named A will karate chop him right up!"

Very very wide eyed now.....

A: "How do monsters know that?"

M: "Well . . . somehow they just know...."

A: "I think they know that because boys named A can kick harder than anybody and punch harder than anybody. That's how they know."

M: "hmmmmm . . . . ya know . . . I think you might be right. Good night Karate Boy."

Happy contented smile . . .

A: "Good night mommy."

Needless to say . . . this promotion was well deserved.

Mission Accomplished and New Goals

My first post . . . I think it was my first post . . . was about monthly goals.

I neglected to report on here at the beginning of this month that I actually ACCOMPLISHED my January Goal!!!!! Whaaaaaahooooooo!!!

I read the entire book, Master Your Metabolism Cookbook by Jillian Michaels, and I made a new snack every week. I learned a better way to make hard boiled eggs. I learned how to make hummus and homemade pita chips. I learned how to make this really delicious black bean dip. And I learned how to make a delicious banana almond smoothie. All of it was sooooo tasty and I feel darn good about myself! I not only met my goal . . . I exceeded it by trying some main dish recipes from the book as well. Feels good to accomplish a goal instead of accomplishing part of one or none of one like I normally do.

Now for FEBRUARY GOALS!

This month my goals are to
1) Make a new main dish and a new side dish each week from the book. So far so good. :)
2) Do at least 50 of some exercise 6 days a week (Mon - Sat). This means, 50 situps, 50 pushups, 50 Burpees, etc, etc.

I made this 2nd goal because for anyone who knows me you know I love to work out and have always been a bit obsessed with it. Well, sadly, that has gone by the wayside ever since we moved to the East. I think it is a bad combination of easy to find excuses such as: K is a terrible sleeper, I can't run outside because there is no safe time of day to go when J is here to watch the kids, I feel suffocated here, we have no money for a gym membership (which never stopped me before, but does now for some reason), etc, etc, etc.

Anyway, so I wanted to find a way to get back into it that I knew I could accomplish so that I wouldn't get discouraged. It used to just annoy me to work out and not feel sweaty and exhausted at the end. I like to see immediate results. I realized, however, that this is not realistic at this point. So, I decided to do something that is quick and gets my heart going . . . which is usually all I need to get myself to do more. It is the "getting started" that is hard for me lately.

I am happy to say that it is working. Often times I do my 50 push ups or sit ups and want to keep going . . . and I do. Or, I actually feel up to doing a good hard longer full workout and I do! It feels great!

Now . . . if I could just stop eating so much chocolate . . .

Priorities used to be a swear word

I am a perfectionist. I am a little selfish. I am a planner. I am an organizer. I am prideful. I am bossy. I am demanding.

None of these things make for a happy mom.

The good news is . . . they can change, soften, or be altered . . . with time.

When my oldest was a baby I would get so frustrated when I couldn't do a task start to finish with no interruptions. Especially when it came to cleaning . . . one of my favorite hobbies. 

Things have changed. Perhaps it is partly out of necessity, but I think it also has to do with that word I don't like very much. That one. You know it. The one that I am not very good at and hate thinking about it because it makes me feel guilty . . . yep that one . . . priorities. 

I think I am getting better at this word . . . so much better in fact that it isn't even a swear word anymore!

I used to have to wash, dry, fold, and put away the entire week's laundry in one day. Now I am happy to have it all washed and dried in a day and am still okay with having to do a couple of other random loads throughout the week.

I used to have to be able to clean my entire house top to bottom and side to side once a week AND finish it all before lunch! Now I am happy to vacuum once a week, a clean a bathroom here a bathroom there, dust here and dust there, mop here and mop there . . . whenever I find the time. How liberating!

I used to have to be able to sit the kids to an activity and start and complete dinner without interruption. This never happened, but before I would get frustrated when I was interrupted. Now I am happy to have it "going" and stop and play with the kids for a minute in between steps. 

I used to want to get all my grocery shopping done in one trip each week. Now I am happy if the kids are somewhat happy during our several trips. Instead of hurrying, we try to have a little fun.

I used to have to sit down and complete all my bills, blog posts, phone calls, and emails during nap time. Now I am happy just to complete the necessities. 

It is nice to keep your priorities straight. I like it. I am much happier . . . and so are my kids. 

Lucky Me

I think one of THE most annoying things about living where I do is the looks of horror and confusion when I tromp through the grocery store, target, and even the library with my three young children.

Even more annoying is this comment . . . "Wow lady! You've got your hands full!"

Until today I was a little shrinking violet when people made this comment. I would simply shrug and smile.

Today was different. As I was getting the kids out of my van at the grocery store, this old grump took one look at me, grunted and said, "Man lady. You've got your hands full." I replied with a large grin, "I sure am lucky aren't I?!" He looked at me quite confused and walked away. It made me feel GREAT!! It was all I could do to keep myself from putting my hands by my ears, waving my fingers back and forth, and singing, "Neener Neener Neener!"

Then, as we walked through the store . . . my two older kids energetically pushing their mini carts and me feeding crackers to my 11 month old while also trying to concentrate on finding the best deal and keeping the older ones from running old ladies down . . . blah blah blah . . . I got some nasty nasty nasty looks, a few more, "you've got your hands full," and even a huff and a puff from a disgruntled middle aged man.

Perhaps next time I will be brave enough to wear a sign on my forehead that says something like,

"You only wish you were as lucky as me! Instead you are lonely, uptight, self-centered, and unhappy. I feel badly for you. How about instead of giving me a dirty look you focus your eyes on the adorableness of young children exploring their world around them with energy and passion. Perhaps you might even remember that you were a child once too!"

The End

Old Soul

A attends a Co-op Preschool. If you are unfamiliar with this it is a preschool where you pay tuition, but it is generally a lower fee because you are required to help in the classroom, help clean the building, etc. We love it! 

Anyway, today was my co-op day. My son, A, took two hand puppets, a goat and a triceratops, that he had gotten at church yesterday to show to his teacher. Being the awesome person that she is, she said, "Well hey! Let's use those for circle time today!" And they did. The goat was the big billy goat gruff (as A had explained for her) and the dino was the troll. Awesome. 

At the end of school I was walking A to the bathroom and said, "You sure are lucky to have such a nice teacher to use your puppets for circle time today." To which he responded, "Yes. I am. I love Mrs. E because she has such a great imagination." 

When I shared our conversation with Mrs. E, she said, "Oh, please don't move away and take A! I just love him. He is such an Old Soul."

I then mentioned to her that he is similar to his Daddy, to which she responded, "Well, wherever he gets it, I think he was just born with an "old soul" because not many 4 year olds can be that sincere with a comment like that."

This conversation made me think . . . I believe that we were all spirit children of our Heavenly Father before we came to this earth and received our bodies. Therefore, it makes sense that our spirits (souls) are a very different age than our earthly body. We just don't know how long we lived as spirits with our Heavenly Father before we came to earth.  

Perhaps, A's spirit (soul) is much older than mine or my husbands . . . perhaps that is why we can learn so much from children. Some of their souls are just more experienced than ours.

I sure count myself lucky to mother an "old soul."

Butcher, Baker, or Candlestick Maker

Today during lunch, A said, "Mommy, someday when you get a job somewhere I am going to clean the toys and my room, do the laundry, take care of my sisters, make food, and even sweep the house!"

I said, "well, I hope I never have to go to work because my job is to be here and be your mommy."

A: "Why?

Mommy: "Well, daddy works so we can have things in our home that we need and we want me to be home with you to teach you and take care of you."

A: "And to clean and make wonderful dinners."

Mommy: "That too."

I thought about that conversation today and for a second I thought, 'awesome, I am a nanny, a cook, and a maid . . . some job description . . .'

Then I thought better of it . . . I am not a butcher, a baker, a candlestick maker. I am not a nurse, a teacher,  or anything else . . . I'm a mom . . . which means  . . .

I am a butcher, a baker, an EVERYTHING maker, a nurse, a teacher, a counselor, a business manager, a photographer, a writer, an environmentalist, a scientist, and on and on and on.

Hmmmmmm, I think my job is actually pretty cool. Plus . . . I have NO boss! Neener neener neener.

Stuck in the Muck

Literally. I think I have cleaned up more poop in the last week than I have in all 4 years of being a mom. That's my excuse for not posting lately. I have been stuck in the muck.

Let's see.....what can I find positive about cleaning up a lotta poop . . . .

hmmmmmm . . . . .

K. Got it.

-I have become quite proficient at bathing children in the tiny bathroom sink. A talent I know you all only wish you had.

-My tub has been scoured more in a week than it had been in about 2 months. No one wants to bathe with poo chunks.

And . . .

-My 2 year old daughter, R, has learned the Diarrhea song. You know the one . . . when you're slidin into first and you feel a little burst, diarrhea uh uh, diarrhea uh uh . . . hey, don't judge . . . often times humor is the only way out of the muck.

Super

I was told once that I need to, "rejoice in my successes more often."

Here goes:

About 5 minutes ago I was peacefully sitting on the couch feeding K her bottle . . . when suddenly A slipped . . BOOM . . . blood gushing from his lip amid screams for help . . . then R was yelling, "Mommy!! Poo Poo!!"

I calmly (somehow) set K down (she proceeded to scream of course . . . a lot . . . she is a talented screamer), grabbed A and R and hustled to the bathroom where I stood A in front of the sink (he began to scream more at the sight of his blood) and set R on the toilet. Tended to A. K still screaming. Finished up with R. Finished up with A.

Blood cleaned up. A with ice pack. R is relieved. K drank the remainder of her bottle.

I. AM. AWESOME.

Gotta Have Its

Disclaimer (cause I'm good at those): The intention of Notta Mom Blob is to convince myself of the things I write.

Last night my family and I went to dinner. The dinner was in a beautiful home on beautiful land and in it lived beautiful people with all of their beautiful things. Those luckys. As we pulled up and began to get ourselves out of the minivan (always a long process), I said to myself, "do not be jealous, do not be jealous, do not be jealous, do not be jealous . . . " It was silly really that jealousy was even an option for my brain considering the owners of the beautiful life are in their sixties, have eight children who are all grown, and had rather meager beginnings themselves. So right then and there I made a decision . . . instead of being jealous I was going to find out how they obtained this beautiful life. I was also going to find out just how beautiful it really was. After all there are many out there who seem to have a beautiful life from the outside, but you soon find out that inside they are poorer than a church mouse.

I was correct on some counts, but as usual, not on all. They certainly do have a beautiful life. They raised eight wonderful children. They are quite well off enabling them to serve  in church and community much more readily. They are healthy. They have family close by. They have direction in their lives. They are living many of my own dreams. However, they are not 'Luckys.' They are 'Workers.' What they aren't is 'Gotta Have Its.'

There was much conversation last night. Many things were said that I hope I don't forget. Surprisingly . . . or not . . . the most simple phrase said was also the most useful. "Do not buy things you don't need."

Americans are, in large part, 'Gotta Have It's.' Especially young moms. We gotta have the stylish dress that that cute mom was wearing on Sunday, the manicured nails that the other cute mom was sporting, the best hairdresser and shampoos, the designer boots that we saw that adorable perfect mom wearing, the modern couches, the large home, the hip children's clothes, the name brand kids shoes, the new car, the big screen TV, the updated appliances, the designer apron, and even . . . yes even . . . the coordinating Pottery Barn baby's room that they will never remember or be affected by in any way. Or we could go with more simple gotta have its. We gotta have the new camera, the perfectly organized photo books, the new computer that wasn't made by cave men, the new but justified down to 'simple' and 'a good deal' dress for church, the hair bows for the girls, the toy tunnel for the kids . . .  

Unfortunately we have decided as a culture that the words 'need' and 'want' are really just the same thing.

Well, they aren't. Google them. They have different definitions. I promise. 

And I can make a few solemn promises right here and now.
1) Our kids do not care if they have the hippest clothes, shoes, and bedrooms. Nor will they unless we want them to.

2) We can still make friends even if we don't have the latest fashions. In fact, the ones we make using this route (i.e. ourselves out in the open vs. ourselves walled up with fashion) will likely be more like those expensive all natural deep cleaning  products instead of cheap dollar store surface cleaners.

and

3) Our children will likely be more kind, more understanding, less selfish, and more creative if they aren't handed the moon when all they really wanted was some macaroni noodles to make a necklace.

To further illustrate my point....we went to Ikea the other week and we really really really wanted to buy one of those tents they have or one of those fun climbing tubes for the kids to play with. We thought up all sorts of perfectly executed justifications of why we "needed" one or the other. Well, we didn't have $20, so we didn't get it. Instead my husband made this fort (pictured below) out of my college dorm bedspread, a hand-me-down chalkboard and some duct tape. Cost - $0. Return - Hours upon hours of creative play. Sure, yeah, it's unsightly, makes the room look always messy and cluttered and makes it a little annoying to put books away, but ya know what?! The kids are happy. I am happy. And we are not $20 poorer. 

Childlike

In the book of Matthew chapter 18 it reads, " . . except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

In other words, we need to be childlike . . . I was childlike today . . . yep, I was.

I threw at least four, all out, full throttle TANTRUMS . . . before noon. 

Maybe I ought to re-read the scripture . . . again, and again, and again, and again.

Happy Place

We did "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day" this last weekend with my second, who is recently 2 years old. It went great on Saturday, she even did a poo poo in the potty that morning right off! It went great Sunday. It went great Monday. Which brings us to today . . .

It didn't go great today. I think her troubles were a combination of having to go poo poo really badly, but being afraid to do it on the toilet and having a little boy here that we babysit that she likes to play with, therefore providing a distraction. Whatever the reason, she went through 4 pairs of underwear today! Add that to me being sick and sleep deprived having been up most of the night with our 10 month old who is also sick, children fighting all day, baby being super uncharacteristically clingy, said potty trainee saying she has to go to the potty every 20 minutes and only actually going half the time (more details to come), and baby trying to follow trainer and trainee into the bathroom every time and then falling down the stairs (only 2) when unwatched . . . well . . . I think it is safe to say that today was less than good.

I think I finally lost it after about the 10th time (before lunchtime) that I had cleaned remnants of poop off of trainee's bottom because every time she went to go potty, she would stop herself out of fear. At that same time, baby hurt herself again and oldest and boy we babysit both needed me at once. What did I do? I looked up to the ceiling and I clenched my fists and I screamed. Nothing in particular. I just screamed. Loudly.

Fast Forward.......................

At about 4:30 pm, Trainee said, "Mommy I need to go poo poo!" And she finally did!! I was thrilled. We all cheered and celebrated. Good job!

At about 4:45 pm, Trainee came into the kitchen where I was making dinner and with a concerned look on her face, looked up and me then down at her panties and said, "Mommy, what happened!?"

Well, I'll tell you what happened. She pooped her pants!

We went into the bathroom and I did my best to handle it calmly while still relaying to her my huge disappointment. She was seated on the potty while I was kneeling down in front of her cleaning up poo, when I look up to see her staring up to the ceiling and singing a rather sad sounding version of, "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, How I Wonder What You Are . . . " She then sorrowfully looked down at me and said, "I so sorry mommy."

I guess she was finding her happy place after a rough day.

Perhaps I should re-examine my happy place and choose one a little more gentle than screaming.

And one more thing . . . how is it that I nearly always learn more from my children than from almost any other source? The only answer I can come up with is that they are closer to Heavenly Father than any other source.

Face Tattoos

In church a couple of weeks ago, a man stood to share his testimony. He shared a quote from a film he had watched when two women were talking. One, a new mother, was talking to her friend, a married girl who was thinking of having their first baby. The friend said, "So, what it is like to be a parent?" The new mother wisely responded, "It's kind of like getting a tattoo on your face. You don't want to do it unless you are totally committed."

I would say . . . she's right. Though having children is better than getting a face tattoo . . . at least I can assume as much since tattoos are ugly and babies are beautiful . . . it is certainly something you must be committed to 100%.

That being said . . . on the days when you don't really feel like being 100% committed . . . your kids will survive. I promise.

Parfum de Mère

A succulent blend of rich all natural extracts delicately combined to ensnare your senses. We've combined the playful scent of baby drool combined with pure mucus, the romantic scent of toddler urine, the tangy scent of infant spit-up, and the sweet scent of poop to give you a most alluring perfume. The Mom Perfume. Take chances. Live on the edge.

Warning: Not for the faint of heart

*No animal testing. Unless you count stuffed animals.

I know, I know. Gross. Well, if you think it's gross . . . then don't come to my house . . . cause Parfum de Mere is our most used perfume. Between a snotty congested baby who is teething, and potty training a 2 year old . . . we have a whole lotta "rich all natural" goin' on.

And, um, HOW does this make me Notta Mom Blob you ask . . . let me think about that . . . okay, here ya go. I had to use some pretty genius creativity today to keep my 2 year old's interest for 5 hours straight of "focused" potty training. From talking stuffed animals, to made up on the spot potty songs, to making dolly panties out of old socks . . . I feel like a Mommy Einstein today. Boo ya.

Tis the Season

This morning was rough. Rough. Rough. Rough.
My baby girl has been sick pretty much since October. Well, she is sick again and this morning had a fever and woke up tired and grumpy. She sucked down her bottle quickly and even more quickly . . . upchucked it all over me, her, and the couch. Lovely. And on a school morning when I am supposed to be the back up nursery worker at my son's school.

I tried to call about 12 different people trying to get someone to cover my shift and get a ride for my son so that I could take baby girl to the doctor . . . again. To no avail. Doesn't anyone keep their phones on?!?!?!?!

Alas, I called the school and talked to the director who said they probably wouldn't need me today anyway because of blah blah blah. Yes!! Yay! Tender Mercy.

Was able to get a hold of the doctor's office and got a 10 am appt. Yes. Perfect. I will drop boy off at school and go to doctor with girls.

Well, all was hunky dory for about 2 minutes and then baby girl began to cry. Then she began to scream. Then she began to follow me around on her hands and knees, snotting, slobbering, crying, and crying some more all while I was frantically trying to get older girl dressed, boy ready, and bags ready.

We got out the door . .. barely . . . and the girls were fairly pleasant on the way to the school and then the doctor. On the way to the doctor I had the thought, "Man, I am so tired. I wish I could just sleep in, exercise, and read."

The next moment, the thought came, "There is a time and season for everything. Enjoy this season of your life."

So, I did. I made up this song on the way to the doctors office and belted it at the top of my lungs in my minivan. And it was rather enjoyable....

Tis the Season to have babies
Falalalalalalalala
Even if you get the crazies
Falalalalalalalala
Wiping bums and snotty noses
Falala lalala la la la
This is not my bed of roses
Falalalala la la la la

An Accidental Experiment

Despite me having yet another sinus infection this week, it has been a great week . . . until today.

On Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday I took important and thoughtful quiet time to myself to read and study the scriptures. I pretty much always read my scriptures each day, but to actually study and ponder them and then after have meaningful prayer . . . well, that hasn't happened on a regular basis for a while. A long while. I am always too rushed. I rush through morning prayer and scripture time so that I can get things done. I rush through evening prayer so that I can sleep! And you know what I have realized, when it comes to certain things. . . RUSHING is such a WASTE of TIME!

Today I rushed my study because my smallest decided that 6:30 would be a good time to wake up the entire house . . . I usually have until 7:30. It happens with kids. It was no big surprise. The same thing happened on Tuesday of this week, but instead of rushing the entire day after that, I took time that day after the kids were all down for naps or quiet time to read and ponder.

Today I didn't take time later to do it. And, today was unproductive, frustrating, and completely chaotic. I felt like a mindless directionless blob.

I really didn't perform this experiment on purpose. And though I have seen it happen before, never in such an obvious way as this. It is a contrast of light and darkness I will not soon forget. And though today was hard, tomorrow can be better . . . if I don't rush.

Simple

On Tuesday morning I made my husband's lunch for him for the first time in . . .I don't know . . . months and months. It made me happy to do that. I used to do it every day. I think I should do that more often. It made him happy too. And all it was was a PB sandwich, two hardboiled eggs, a clementine, and some carrots. Somehow those less than 5 minutes of service to my husband made me a more loving and grateful mom that day. I guess it's the little things.

The Chicken or the Egg

As I was in my best thinking spot this morning, the shower, I had a brilliant "breakthrough idea." What is a breakthrough idea? Well, it is an idea that comes to you that would help you have a breakthrough, IF you are willing to USE the idea.

Before I proceed, I must reveal something about myself. I am a jealous, sometimes selfish, gotta have it MY way person. I have been this way for as long as I can remember trying not to be this way. In fact, I am fairly certain that these are "qualities" I will be trying to squash out of my system until the day that I die. Hopefully I will at least get an A for effort in heaven.

Soooo, here is my "breakthrough idea:" It began with the question in my mind, "Which comes first, The Good Wife OR The Good Mom?" Can you be a good mom (Notta Mom Blob) without being a good wife first? Or do you become a good wife because you have done other things to be Notta Mom Blob? Confused yet? That's okay . . . it makes perfect sense in my mind.

The reason it makes sense to me is that yesterday was a particularly jealous, selfish, overbearing, and critical day for me. I took every opportunity to criticize my husband. This morning I had the thought that perhaps my mouth is like cheap diaper (all the waste spills out no matter what) because I am jealous of how darn good he is. Why am I not that dedicated, loving, patient, talented and smart? Perhaps it is because I want everything we do to cater to my needs. Perhaps I am just bossy because it makes me feel like I have control of something.

Whatever the reason, there is no excuse to treat a good and loving husband with criticism, sarcasm, and pride. Soooo, I decided today that if I want to feel like a good mom instead of a Mom Blob, I FIRST need to  be a good wife. How? Well . . . I. Don't. Know.

BUT, what I do know is that if I am less jealous of my husband and notice my good qualities more, then I will feel more confident in myself. If I act less selfishly I will feel happier. If I allow my husband to take some burden from my back (as he always tries to, but I always want it MY way), I will feel less stressed. And, if I look for the good instead of the bad in my husband, then I will also look for the good instead of the bad in myself. It is all about combating bad habits with good ones. Stan and Jan Berenstain taught me that one.

There is a reason that the Lord placed us on this earth with the intent to be married and spend eternity with that person. Next to our relationship with God, our marriage is the most important relationship we will develop here. If we don't feel confident there, we certainly won't feel confident anywhere else.

Soooo, if you don't wanna be a Mom Blob. First, don't be a Wife Blob . . . or in my case a Bossy Cow. :)