Monday, January 31, 2011

Stuck in the Muck

Literally. I think I have cleaned up more poop in the last week than I have in all 4 years of being a mom. That's my excuse for not posting lately. I have been stuck in the muck.

Let's see.....what can I find positive about cleaning up a lotta poop . . . .

hmmmmmm . . . . .

K. Got it.

-I have become quite proficient at bathing children in the tiny bathroom sink. A talent I know you all only wish you had.

-My tub has been scoured more in a week than it had been in about 2 months. No one wants to bathe with poo chunks.

And . . .

-My 2 year old daughter, R, has learned the Diarrhea song. You know the one . . . when you're slidin into first and you feel a little burst, diarrhea uh uh, diarrhea uh uh . . . hey, don't judge . . . often times humor is the only way out of the muck.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Super

I was told once that I need to, "rejoice in my successes more often."

Here goes:

About 5 minutes ago I was peacefully sitting on the couch feeding K her bottle . . . when suddenly A slipped . . BOOM . . . blood gushing from his lip amid screams for help . . . then R was yelling, "Mommy!! Poo Poo!!"

I calmly (somehow) set K down (she proceeded to scream of course . . . a lot . . . she is a talented screamer), grabbed A and R and hustled to the bathroom where I stood A in front of the sink (he began to scream more at the sight of his blood) and set R on the toilet. Tended to A. K still screaming. Finished up with R. Finished up with A.

Blood cleaned up. A with ice pack. R is relieved. K drank the remainder of her bottle.

I. AM. AWESOME.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Gotta Have Its

Disclaimer (cause I'm good at those): The intention of Notta Mom Blob is to convince myself of the things I write.

Last night my family and I went to dinner. The dinner was in a beautiful home on beautiful land and in it lived beautiful people with all of their beautiful things. Those luckys. As we pulled up and began to get ourselves out of the minivan (always a long process), I said to myself, "do not be jealous, do not be jealous, do not be jealous, do not be jealous . . . " It was silly really that jealousy was even an option for my brain considering the owners of the beautiful life are in their sixties, have eight children who are all grown, and had rather meager beginnings themselves. So right then and there I made a decision . . . instead of being jealous I was going to find out how they obtained this beautiful life. I was also going to find out just how beautiful it really was. After all there are many out there who seem to have a beautiful life from the outside, but you soon find out that inside they are poorer than a church mouse.

I was correct on some counts, but as usual, not on all. They certainly do have a beautiful life. They raised eight wonderful children. They are quite well off enabling them to serve  in church and community much more readily. They are healthy. They have family close by. They have direction in their lives. They are living many of my own dreams. However, they are not 'Luckys.' They are 'Workers.' What they aren't is 'Gotta Have Its.'

There was much conversation last night. Many things were said that I hope I don't forget. Surprisingly . . . or not . . . the most simple phrase said was also the most useful. "Do not buy things you don't need."

Americans are, in large part, 'Gotta Have It's.' Especially young moms. We gotta have the stylish dress that that cute mom was wearing on Sunday, the manicured nails that the other cute mom was sporting, the best hairdresser and shampoos, the designer boots that we saw that adorable perfect mom wearing, the modern couches, the large home, the hip children's clothes, the name brand kids shoes, the new car, the big screen TV, the updated appliances, the designer apron, and even . . . yes even . . . the coordinating Pottery Barn baby's room that they will never remember or be affected by in any way. Or we could go with more simple gotta have its. We gotta have the new camera, the perfectly organized photo books, the new computer that wasn't made by cave men, the new but justified down to 'simple' and 'a good deal' dress for church, the hair bows for the girls, the toy tunnel for the kids . . .  

Unfortunately we have decided as a culture that the words 'need' and 'want' are really just the same thing.

Well, they aren't. Google them. They have different definitions. I promise. 

And I can make a few solemn promises right here and now.
1) Our kids do not care if they have the hippest clothes, shoes, and bedrooms. Nor will they unless we want them to.

2) We can still make friends even if we don't have the latest fashions. In fact, the ones we make using this route (i.e. ourselves out in the open vs. ourselves walled up with fashion) will likely be more like those expensive all natural deep cleaning  products instead of cheap dollar store surface cleaners.

and

3) Our children will likely be more kind, more understanding, less selfish, and more creative if they aren't handed the moon when all they really wanted was some macaroni noodles to make a necklace.

To further illustrate my point....we went to Ikea the other week and we really really really wanted to buy one of those tents they have or one of those fun climbing tubes for the kids to play with. We thought up all sorts of perfectly executed justifications of why we "needed" one or the other. Well, we didn't have $20, so we didn't get it. Instead my husband made this fort (pictured below) out of my college dorm bedspread, a hand-me-down chalkboard and some duct tape. Cost - $0. Return - Hours upon hours of creative play. Sure, yeah, it's unsightly, makes the room look always messy and cluttered and makes it a little annoying to put books away, but ya know what?! The kids are happy. I am happy. And we are not $20 poorer. 

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Childlike

In the book of Matthew chapter 18 it reads, " . . except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

In other words, we need to be childlike . . . I was childlike today . . . yep, I was.

I threw at least four, all out, full throttle TANTRUMS . . . before noon. 

Maybe I ought to re-read the scripture . . . again, and again, and again, and again.


Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Happy Place

We did "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day" this last weekend with my second, who is recently 2 years old. It went great on Saturday, she even did a poo poo in the potty that morning right off! It went great Sunday. It went great Monday. Which brings us to today . . .

It didn't go great today. I think her troubles were a combination of having to go poo poo really badly, but being afraid to do it on the toilet and having a little boy here that we babysit that she likes to play with, therefore providing a distraction. Whatever the reason, she went through 4 pairs of underwear today! Add that to me being sick and sleep deprived having been up most of the night with our 10 month old who is also sick, children fighting all day, baby being super uncharacteristically clingy, said potty trainee saying she has to go to the potty every 20 minutes and only actually going half the time (more details to come), and baby trying to follow trainer and trainee into the bathroom every time and then falling down the stairs (only 2) when unwatched . . . well . . . I think it is safe to say that today was less than good.

I think I finally lost it after about the 10th time (before lunchtime) that I had cleaned remnants of poop off of trainee's bottom because every time she went to go potty, she would stop herself out of fear. At that same time, baby hurt herself again and oldest and boy we babysit both needed me at once. What did I do? I looked up to the ceiling and I clenched my fists and I screamed. Nothing in particular. I just screamed. Loudly.

Fast Forward.......................

At about 4:30 pm, Trainee said, "Mommy I need to go poo poo!" And she finally did!! I was thrilled. We all cheered and celebrated. Good job!

At about 4:45 pm, Trainee came into the kitchen where I was making dinner and with a concerned look on her face, looked up and me then down at her panties and said, "Mommy, what happened!?"

Well, I'll tell you what happened. She pooped her pants!

We went into the bathroom and I did my best to handle it calmly while still relaying to her my huge disappointment. She was seated on the potty while I was kneeling down in front of her cleaning up poo, when I look up to see her staring up to the ceiling and singing a rather sad sounding version of, "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, How I Wonder What You Are . . . " She then sorrowfully looked down at me and said, "I so sorry mommy."

I guess she was finding her happy place after a rough day.

Perhaps I should re-examine my happy place and choose one a little more gentle than screaming.

And one more thing . . . how is it that I nearly always learn more from my children than from almost any other source? The only answer I can come up with is that they are closer to Heavenly Father than any other source.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Face Tattoos

In church a couple of weeks ago, a man stood to share his testimony. He shared a quote from a film he had watched when two women were talking. One, a new mother, was talking to her friend, a married girl who was thinking of having their first baby. The friend said, "So, what it is like to be a parent?" The new mother wisely responded, "It's kind of like getting a tattoo on your face. You don't want to do it unless you are totally committed."

I would say . . . she's right. Though having children is better than getting a face tattoo . . . at least I can assume as much since tattoos are ugly and babies are beautiful . . . it is certainly something you must be committed to 100%.

That being said . . . on the days when you don't really feel like being 100% committed . . . your kids will survive. I promise.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Parfum de Mère

A succulent blend of rich all natural extracts delicately combined to ensnare your senses. We've combined the playful scent of baby drool combined with pure mucus, the romantic scent of toddler urine, the tangy scent of infant spit-up, and the sweet scent of poop to give you a most alluring perfume. The Mom Perfume. Take chances. Live on the edge.

Warning: Not for the faint of heart

*No animal testing. Unless you count stuffed animals.

I know, I know. Gross. Well, if you think it's gross . . . then don't come to my house . . . cause Parfum de Mere is our most used perfume. Between a snotty congested baby who is teething, and potty training a 2 year old . . . we have a whole lotta "rich all natural" goin' on.

And, um, HOW does this make me Notta Mom Blob you ask . . . let me think about that . . . okay, here ya go. I had to use some pretty genius creativity today to keep my 2 year old's interest for 5 hours straight of "focused" potty training. From talking stuffed animals, to made up on the spot potty songs, to making dolly panties out of old socks . . . I feel like a Mommy Einstein today. Boo ya.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Tis the Season

This morning was rough. Rough. Rough. Rough.
My baby girl has been sick pretty much since October. Well, she is sick again and this morning had a fever and woke up tired and grumpy. She sucked down her bottle quickly and even more quickly . . . upchucked it all over me, her, and the couch. Lovely. And on a school morning when I am supposed to be the back up nursery worker at my son's school.

I tried to call about 12 different people trying to get someone to cover my shift and get a ride for my son so that I could take baby girl to the doctor . . . again. To no avail. Doesn't anyone keep their phones on?!?!?!?!

Alas, I called the school and talked to the director who said they probably wouldn't need me today anyway because of blah blah blah. Yes!! Yay! Tender Mercy.

Was able to get a hold of the doctor's office and got a 10 am appt. Yes. Perfect. I will drop boy off at school and go to doctor with girls.

Well, all was hunky dory for about 2 minutes and then baby girl began to cry. Then she began to scream. Then she began to follow me around on her hands and knees, snotting, slobbering, crying, and crying some more all while I was frantically trying to get older girl dressed, boy ready, and bags ready.

We got out the door . .. barely . . . and the girls were fairly pleasant on the way to the school and then the doctor. On the way to the doctor I had the thought, "Man, I am so tired. I wish I could just sleep in, exercise, and read."

The next moment, the thought came, "There is a time and season for everything. Enjoy this season of your life."

So, I did. I made up this song on the way to the doctors office and belted it at the top of my lungs in my minivan. And it was rather enjoyable....

Tis the Season to have babies
Falalalalalalalala
Even if you get the crazies
Falalalalalalalala
Wiping bums and snotty noses
Falala lalala la la la
This is not my bed of roses
Falalalala la la la la

Thursday, January 6, 2011

An Accidental Experiment

Despite me having yet another sinus infection this week, it has been a great week . . . until today.

On Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday I took important and thoughtful quiet time to myself to read and study the scriptures. I pretty much always read my scriptures each day, but to actually study and ponder them and then after have meaningful prayer . . . well, that hasn't happened on a regular basis for a while. A long while. I am always too rushed. I rush through morning prayer and scripture time so that I can get things done. I rush through evening prayer so that I can sleep! And you know what I have realized, when it comes to certain things. . . RUSHING is such a WASTE of TIME!

Today I rushed my study because my smallest decided that 6:30 would be a good time to wake up the entire house . . . I usually have until 7:30. It happens with kids. It was no big surprise. The same thing happened on Tuesday of this week, but instead of rushing the entire day after that, I took time that day after the kids were all down for naps or quiet time to read and ponder.

Today I didn't take time later to do it. And, today was unproductive, frustrating, and completely chaotic. I felt like a mindless directionless blob.

I really didn't perform this experiment on purpose. And though I have seen it happen before, never in such an obvious way as this. It is a contrast of light and darkness I will not soon forget. And though today was hard, tomorrow can be better . . . if I don't rush.

Simple

On Tuesday morning I made my husband's lunch for him for the first time in . . .I don't know . . . months and months. It made me happy to do that. I used to do it every day. I think I should do that more often. It made him happy too. And all it was was a PB sandwich, two hardboiled eggs, a clementine, and some carrots. Somehow those less than 5 minutes of service to my husband made me a more loving and grateful mom that day. I guess it's the little things.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

The Chicken or the Egg

As I was in my best thinking spot this morning, the shower, I had a brilliant "breakthrough idea." What is a breakthrough idea? Well, it is an idea that comes to you that would help you have a breakthrough, IF you are willing to USE the idea.

Before I proceed, I must reveal something about myself. I am a jealous, sometimes selfish, gotta have it MY way person. I have been this way for as long as I can remember trying not to be this way. In fact, I am fairly certain that these are "qualities" I will be trying to squash out of my system until the day that I die. Hopefully I will at least get an A for effort in heaven.

Soooo, here is my "breakthrough idea:" It began with the question in my mind, "Which comes first, The Good Wife OR The Good Mom?" Can you be a good mom (Notta Mom Blob) without being a good wife first? Or do you become a good wife because you have done other things to be Notta Mom Blob? Confused yet? That's okay . . . it makes perfect sense in my mind.

The reason it makes sense to me is that yesterday was a particularly jealous, selfish, overbearing, and critical day for me. I took every opportunity to criticize my husband. This morning I had the thought that perhaps my mouth is like cheap diaper (all the waste spills out no matter what) because I am jealous of how darn good he is. Why am I not that dedicated, loving, patient, talented and smart? Perhaps it is because I want everything we do to cater to my needs. Perhaps I am just bossy because it makes me feel like I have control of something.

Whatever the reason, there is no excuse to treat a good and loving husband with criticism, sarcasm, and pride. Soooo, I decided today that if I want to feel like a good mom instead of a Mom Blob, I FIRST need to  be a good wife. How? Well . . . I. Don't. Know.

BUT, what I do know is that if I am less jealous of my husband and notice my good qualities more, then I will feel more confident in myself. If I act less selfishly I will feel happier. If I allow my husband to take some burden from my back (as he always tries to, but I always want it MY way), I will feel less stressed. And, if I look for the good instead of the bad in my husband, then I will also look for the good instead of the bad in myself. It is all about combating bad habits with good ones. Stan and Jan Berenstain taught me that one.

There is a reason that the Lord placed us on this earth with the intent to be married and spend eternity with that person. Next to our relationship with God, our marriage is the most important relationship we will develop here. If we don't feel confident there, we certainly won't feel confident anywhere else.

Soooo, if you don't wanna be a Mom Blob. First, don't be a Wife Blob . . . or in my case a Bossy Cow. :)