Sister Date

I just got back from a date with my sister. We were together for about 8 hours without any kids. It was so fun!!! It's times like this that remind me I am something other than a mother. It's fun to just be a sister sometimes too. The funny thing is.....we spent a good portion of our time talking about our kids. Once a mother always a mother. And you know what? I don't mind that a bit.

February Goals and Onto March

I did it! I accomplished another month of goals.

I learned how to make:
Quinoa Stuffed Peppers :) :)
Roasted Veggies :) :)
Chicken with Fennel and Carrots :(
Roasted Garlic Beets :(
Broiled Tilapia with Herbs and Mushrooms :) :)
Red Cabbage and Apple Slaw :( :( :(
Roasted Chicken with Pasta and Spinach Pesto :)
Smashed Sweet Potatoes :) :)

I also exercised (at least 50) 6 days a week! I do admit, there were 3 days out of the month when I counted my exercise as 5 trips out and back to my car with groceries, which if you knew how far I have to park from my front door, you would totally okay that decision....

MARCH GOALS
No carbs after 8:30 pm (unless family is in town) :)
Exercise 5 days per week (at least 100 things)

Here we go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fiery Flying Mommy

In the scriptures, when hell is referred to, I have seen mentioned that it will be filled with "fiery flying serpents." I beg to differ. I think it will be filled with fiery flying mommies. That is oh so much scarier than serpents anyway. And today, I am fairly certain that I created that vision for my sweet innocent children as they watched me fly across the house in a rage throwing tissue boxes and videos at the wall and even knocking over a chair on the way. I decided that today throwing things to get my frustrations out was safer than yelling because after all, my head is already pounding from the combination of my sinus headache, lack of sleep, and fever. I mean, if you consider 4 hours in the last 48 hours a lack of sleep. I certainly do.

I suppose I spoke too soon when I did my last two posts, saying everything was great, I was rising to the occasion, blah blah blah. Today is one of those days where I didn't even want to rise out of my bed . . .well, except for the fact that I wasn't in my bed this morning anyway. I was on the couch.

Since last Tuesday-ish, we have been dealing with some big sickness around here. My husband got hit the worst, so he had to miss a lot of work already, preventing him from being able to stay home today to help me. Poo.  Before, I was the caretaker and that was good for me. I almost thought I was in the clear from getting sick. Then Tuesday night of this week came and no matter what I tried, I could not sleep. I was jittery, couldn't close my eyes, and the worst part was that I couldn't stop singing "Moon, Moon, Moon," all. night. long. That night I finally slept for about an hour. Last night came and I thought, no way will that happen again. It did. I finally fell asleep fitfully at about 2 or 3 am and then woke at about 6 ish.

Today I have no appetite, I am queasy, tired (duh), dizzy, have the chills, weak, sore, my four year old is loud and restless because he is sick of being stuck inside with sick parents, my two year old has had FOUR accidents which she hasn't done since potty training day, and my 1 year old threw up her entire lunch . . . and I am just really really sad. I miss my momma. We lived near J's parents during our first 2 years of marriage, then near mine during our next 3 years. Now we live near no parents. My sister lives about 45 minutes away, and I know she would bring us the world if she could, but she works to support her family. That is the same with all of our friends here. They either work because it is so dang expensive to live here or they have little ones of their own. There is just nothing nothing nothing like having a grandparent close by to help when you have days like this . . . unless it's a neighbor/best friend who shares the other half of your duplex and is a total angel from heaven. That is awesome too. Oh the days . . . Anyway, it was to the point, in fact, that my hubby got on the computer last night and was prepared to use half of our tax return to fly my mom out here tomorrow and have her stay for a week! My annoying voice of reason talked him out of it. Sometimes I hate that voice. To sum it up. We feel lonely. Lonely, sick, and tired are hard things to feel. Especially all at once.

Here's the kicker. As I was sitting down to write out my feelings, the words of this hymn came into my head:
"When dark clouds of trouble hang o'er us
And threaten our peace to destroy,
There is hope smiling brightly before us,
And we know that deliverance is nigh."

(darn those hymns)

I tried to shrug it off, ironically happy to be unhappy for the moment, and then I opened up my email and there was an email from my friend C, who is in our church here. She and her family are sick and having a hard time too since her husband is so busy. She was just thinking of me and wanted me to know that. I balled as I read her email and then even more as I emailed her a thank you back. It was simple. It was not an offer to help, but only because she can't right now. But what it was, was her following a simple prompting to contact me to let me know she was there suffering right along with me. To let me know she was someone close by who understands.

No, it doesn't ease my burden like if my momma were here, but it does make me feel loved, watched out for, and important to someone. I am grateful for that.

Now. Time to take a deep breath, clean up the pee and puke, and push through the rest of this day. No more fiery flying mommy okay.

Called to Rise

I love a part of a poem that says, "You never know how high you are 'Til you are called to rise."

I think this rings true for all mothers. I have felt this is especially poignant in my life during these last 5 or 6 days. In my last post I said that I am the only one not sick. I suppose if I am completely honest, I am a little sick. My sinuses have been achy the last 3 days, and I have a slight cough, but nothing compared to how the rest of the family has been feeling. As soon as I started to feel it coming on, I stuffed myself with Vitamin D, garlic pills, lemon water, and acidophilus . . . and I am still doing that. I keep feeling like I am about to get worse and then, somehow, I am able to not only make it through each day of caring for 4 sick people, but to do it cheerfully.

I ask myself, "how is this possible?" I am not this person. I am the mom who loses her temper a lot, doesn't have natural patience, who hates to be inconvenienced, and who sometimes gets tired of always being the one to take care of everyone. Well, either some other person is working through me vicariously or someone is helping me to realize how high I am.

It has actually been such a confidence booster to see how much I can do in a day to care for others . . . and cheerfully. I say that again, because that is the part that surprises me the most. Sure, I can do a lot of things, but more often than not, I do it while complaining to myself and scowling at my husband and kids.

I have seen myself rise to hard things before, but never like this. I hope I can remember this on a day when I don't feel like rising to much more than out of my bed. I think we have experiences like these to help us have something to look back on to remind us of just how strong we really are.