The Chicken or the Egg

As I was in my best thinking spot this morning, the shower, I had a brilliant "breakthrough idea." What is a breakthrough idea? Well, it is an idea that comes to you that would help you have a breakthrough, IF you are willing to USE the idea.

Before I proceed, I must reveal something about myself. I am a jealous, sometimes selfish, gotta have it MY way person. I have been this way for as long as I can remember trying not to be this way. In fact, I am fairly certain that these are "qualities" I will be trying to squash out of my system until the day that I die. Hopefully I will at least get an A for effort in heaven.

Soooo, here is my "breakthrough idea:" It began with the question in my mind, "Which comes first, The Good Wife OR The Good Mom?" Can you be a good mom (Notta Mom Blob) without being a good wife first? Or do you become a good wife because you have done other things to be Notta Mom Blob? Confused yet? That's okay . . . it makes perfect sense in my mind.

The reason it makes sense to me is that yesterday was a particularly jealous, selfish, overbearing, and critical day for me. I took every opportunity to criticize my husband. This morning I had the thought that perhaps my mouth is like cheap diaper (all the waste spills out no matter what) because I am jealous of how darn good he is. Why am I not that dedicated, loving, patient, talented and smart? Perhaps it is because I want everything we do to cater to my needs. Perhaps I am just bossy because it makes me feel like I have control of something.

Whatever the reason, there is no excuse to treat a good and loving husband with criticism, sarcasm, and pride. Soooo, I decided today that if I want to feel like a good mom instead of a Mom Blob, I FIRST need to  be a good wife. How? Well . . . I. Don't. Know.

BUT, what I do know is that if I am less jealous of my husband and notice my good qualities more, then I will feel more confident in myself. If I act less selfishly I will feel happier. If I allow my husband to take some burden from my back (as he always tries to, but I always want it MY way), I will feel less stressed. And, if I look for the good instead of the bad in my husband, then I will also look for the good instead of the bad in myself. It is all about combating bad habits with good ones. Stan and Jan Berenstain taught me that one.

There is a reason that the Lord placed us on this earth with the intent to be married and spend eternity with that person. Next to our relationship with God, our marriage is the most important relationship we will develop here. If we don't feel confident there, we certainly won't feel confident anywhere else.

Soooo, if you don't wanna be a Mom Blob. First, don't be a Wife Blob . . . or in my case a Bossy Cow. :)